Fully Alive by Dr. Larry Crabb (book review)

I recently worked my way through a book, Fully Alive: A Biblical Vision of Gender That Frees Men and Women to Live Beyond Stereotypes, by Dr. Larry Crabb. I was excited to jump in. I thought it sounded… liberating.

But honestly, this book challenged me. As I made my way through this book, there were certain chapters that I felt like breaking out in applause and shouting out an enthusiastic ‘Amen!’, where others left me feeling defensive and confused.

One thing Dr. Crabb and I both agree on, is that the term “submission” has become a dirty word and is often misunderstood in Christian circles. In my own view, I think too many teachers stop short of explaining what God commanded – what submission looks like for both a husband and a wife. This whole area of submission makes me uncomfortable – I much rather gloss right over it. "Surely it was meant for a different time," I tell myself. But I think that’s because I’ve skewed what submission looks like, as designed by God. Dr. Crabb writes, “submission requires wise discernment, not reflexive obedience.”

Submission. I haven’t seen this demonstrated perfectly here on earth, not in my lifetime, anyway. In my own marriage, I fight the tendency to get my own way. But Jesus – He demonstrated this perfectly – all the way to the Cross. And whether I not I subscribe to Dr. Crabb’s thought about being an “authentically feminine woman”, this I know - I want to be more like Jesus.

Dr. Crabb writes,“Jesus told us to love each other the way He loves us, to put His way of relating on display by the way we related (see John 13:34-35). His plan is clear. He intends to parade His compelling love for the world to see, not only by the social activism of His followers but also, and more so, by how closely the way His followers relate to each other corresponds to the way Jesus relates” (pg. 42). Whoa. Given the current (political) climate, this seemed especially relevant to me.

What I most appreciated about this book is Dr. Crabb’s thoughts on pain, or “life on the narrow road”, as he calls it. This was surprising - I wasn’t expecting him to talk about pain in a book whose subtitle reads as “A Biblical Vision of Gender That Frees Men and Women to Live Beyond Stereotypes.”

“Realizing instead that this difficult reality is an opportunity to accept our defeat and thus make room for God’s transforming power” (page 213). As I reflect on my own life, I’m amazed at how the most meaningful and beautiful moments have occurred while I was living life on the narrow road – struggling to move one foot in front of the other. It has been during those times of pain, that I have been opened to God’s transforming power, and those are the days I’ve been most fully alive.

A few weeks later, I am still digesting this book. I did not draw any significant personal conclusions at the end of this book, and that’s okay. And I’m glad to have been challenged to go deeper, yearning to discover and enjoy the person God created me to be… fully alive.